A Super Sunny Day

Dear Mr Goodyear,
the sun is shining beautfully, the birds are singing away happily, it's lovely and warm and I am drinking a superb glass of wine on the Balcony.

What a wonderful day it is.

(unless, of course you have just been hit by a bus...! In which case it probably is not such a wonderful day. It may well have been a wonderful day up until the moment of impact but the above described characteristics, of some of the things I consider to be good components of a wonderful day, would pale into insignificance if I, or indeed anyone, had just been hit by a bus.

Unless of course you, or indeed anyone, was actively seeking to get hit by that bus. In which case getting hit by that bus would therefore constitute a wonderful day. Not that you would be able to appreciate that if it had knocked you unconscious of course but up until the moment of impact you would probably be able to assume something along the lines of

'Here comes that bus. Oh good, once I am knocked out then I know now, what I will not be able to know in a few seconds time, that today is really going to be a good one.'

It must also be stressed that the usual components of a lovely day; sunshine, birds singing, glass of wine, warm temperature etc may indeed have been the catalyst for a person wanting to stand in front of a moving bus. In which case the first line of this sodding letter are not the right components for a wonderful/lovely day. This, of course is entirely subjective and it is possibly that the reader will think that I am either lying or just need to be locked up. Either way it would not help their mental condition especially if they were of a mind to stand in front of a fast moving bus.

This doesn't necessarily negate the aforementioned characteristics of a lovely day, which are again; sunshine, birds singing etc as indeed the person of a 'stand-in-front-of-a-fast-moving-blasted-bus disposition may attest to. Or put another way, that person may actually like the sunshine, birds singing etc but be on their way to stand in front of that bus anyway! It's just that they may have been undergoing a troublesome period in their life irrespective of the quality of the weather and therefore it is all one big coincidence that they chose to attempt serious bodily harm on that particular day.

Of course I am assuming that their desire to stand in front of that bus is brought on by some kind of unhappiness. Which is exactly what I seem to be undergoing as I am writing this letter! It is quite possible that they enjoy standing in front of fast moving buses just to scare the shit out of bus drivers for no other reason than they dislike bus drivers.

Tell you what I will just rewrite the original letter

Dear Mr Goodyear,
the outside temperature is 19 degrees in my current location. What a great day to for a person to simultaneously injure themselves AND scare the crap out of a bus driver.

Fuck you Thank you for your attention.